My baby and I sure do like to Fest. We met in Austin and only a short few weeks after our first “date,” we spent the weekend at the Austin City Limits festival. It was the 2nd fest and the whole shindig was a lot less crowded, produced, etc. than it is now. I was there with friends and my baby said that I should meet him by the tree at the the Gospel Tent (?). Before I knew what was happening, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the front of a very crowded tent stage where Rebirth Brass Band was playing - playing hard. It was my first Rebirth show and I was… enraptured? In awe? In a state of funked out musical bliss?

We then moved to New Orleans where I attended every single Jazz Fest during our three year tenure, including the truly magnificent return in 2006 after Katrina had flooded the fairgrounds and most of the neighborhoods around it. And since moving back to New Orleans, we have gone every year. The COVID-denial of what would have truly been one of the greatest lineups of all time in 2020 still stings.

So of course when the Fest opened in 2022 after a two-year hiatus we were there. And it was glorious.

Suggestions for a Happy Fest

• Make sure you have a hat, sunglasses, your marked up music grid schedule, and sunscreen.

• Take out cash at your own bank’s ATM en route to the Fest. Avoid the $4 service fees at the ATM terminals on the fairgrounds.

• Arrive before the gates open, grab a Bloody Mary at Liuzzas or the Seahorse (depending on which gate you use), and make some friends as you wait in line for the Fest to open.

• Lay out a tarp or blanket and set up your home base for the day.

  • Recommended spots: Gentilly stage - as close to the standing only/chair line as you can get - pick a side of the sound booth so folks can find you. Acura/Festival stage - try to grab a spot near a paved or barricaded walkway or just head waaayy back and choose the convenience of access over proximity to the stage. Fais do Do stage - grab a spot under the tree if you can!

• Think through your consumption plan for the day:

  • Morning

    • Start off chill with a margarita daquiri or mango freeze.

    • Grab a Crawfish Monica before the day gets too hot (and lines too long).

  • Noon

    • Swing by the Rosemint Tea and/or Strawberry Lemonade stands while you chill in one of the tented stages during the hottest 1-3 pm hours.

    • Use the air conditioned ladies room between the Blues and Jazz tent and don’t forget to tip the staff.

  • Afternoon

    • Lines should be slightly shorter after the lunch rush so go grab your Cochon de Lait poorboy or Crawfish Sack.

    • Probably time to switch to very cold beer or hard seltzer. Rejoice that you remembered to bring a koozie!

  • Late Afternoon

    • Plan to make a final bathroom, food, booze run before the final act.

    • Set realistic expectations for yourself and make do with whatever line is shortest. Maybe you craved one last bite of Crawfish Monica but a hot plate of Jama Jama and roasted plantains with an ice cold Miller Lite is pretty darn good - especially if it means you don’t miss the opening song.

• Make sure to take note of the friendly recorded goodbye message as you leave, reminding you to get home safe so you can come back to the Fest.